We asked Gulf Malayalis who have spent ten or more years abroad: if you could write a letter to yourself on the day you first left Kerala, what would it say? The responses were anonymous, unedited, and remarkably consistent.
“Learn Arabic. Even a little. It opens doors you do not even know exist.” Multiple respondents mentioned this. Basic conversational Arabic in the Gulf is a career and social advantage that most Malayalis underestimate. Hindi is useful but Arabic is transformative.
“Save more in the first five years. You will think you have unlimited time. You do not.” The Gulf’s temporary visa structure means every year is potentially your last. The lifestyle inflation trap, buying a bigger car, eating out more, upgrading your phone, is real and it quietly erodes the financial advantage you came here to build.
“Call home more. And not just when you need something.” This one appeared in almost every response. The guilt of not calling enough is universal. So is the regret. Your parents will not be there forever. The five-minute call you are too tired to make tonight is the one you will wish you had made ten years from now.
“Your health is not optional.” Several respondents described ignoring chronic issues for years because they were afraid of medical leave or termination. Diabetes, hypertension, and back problems left untreated in your thirties become crises in your fifties. Use your company’s health insurance. Get annual check-ups. It is literally free.
“Do not build a house to impress people who do not care about you.” The most repeated theme. The pressure to build the biggest house in the village has sent more Gulf Malayalis into debt than any other single expense. Build what your family needs, not what your neighbours will envy.
“It is okay to go home. Not every story needs to end here.”
If any of these letters sound like they could be written to you: it is not too late to listen.